Sunday, March 28, 2010

Watching Family Guy

I just wrote a nice length of blog then my computer swallowed it. Basically I'm passing timw while I wait to get sleepier. Painted some this weekend in the attic. Waiting now for my Benadryl to kick in and for the vivid dreams that have accompanied that lately. I love my Luna. And my Carrie is curled up beside me, already asleep. I love her so much. Good night, world.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Collectors

Collectors
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I had another weird dream last night. This woman was at my house looking for me because I owed (a company?) a lot of money and was delinquent in my payments. Basically they wanted blood and I was a turnip... much like my real life these days. hahaha

No seriously.

So she was asking for Nicole and I kept telling her Nicole was not there, that I was not sure where she had gone. Then she asked if I knew where Nicole kept these certain forms/documents... I knew "I" had turned those in before so I said sure, just a minute, and I went to go print out copies of those forms to give the collector.

When I printed the forms out, they had my name and my picture all over them! The pages were a pastel blue, and there was my face with NICOLE written directly beneath it.

For some reason in this dream I lived with my parents. I went to my dad and whispered intensely, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! THESE ARE THE DOCUMENTS SHE WANTS AND MY FACE IS ALL OVER THEM!!" My dad took a breath, raised his eyebrows and kind of grinned at me in an I-UNDERSTAND way. He said, "Well, just go give them to her, tell her the truth, explain that you were just scared, and see what happens. The best way to go from here on out is to just tell the whole truth; you'll get the best result that way."

I knew he was right. "Okay," I said. "Thanks."

I went out in the living room to look for her but she was gone! I walked out into the back yard looking for her and there was... I am not kidding... MARISKA.
(I know, right? This woman has invaded my dreams! Um... SWEET!! LOL)

I said, "Um, hey... where'd you come from?" Again, I was embarrassed for her to see me in such awkward circumstances.

"Who?" she asked.

"Oh..." I saw an opportunity to skirt the entire issue and seized it. *grin* "Just some lady who wanted some papers from me. No biggie."

"Come here," she said. She took me in her arms and kissed me and kissed me... and the lady never came back. :o)

I like dreaming these days. :) :) :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Serenity

Today I sit in PJ's for lunch. I decided to come here because the atmosphere was more likely to be the kind in which I want to exist for at least a few minutes... peaceful... dare I be ethereal... and inspiring.

I walked to CC's because their drinks are cheaper but left when I saw there was noics inside and clusters of dirty construction workers outside the plate glass windows. Ha...

It's nicer here.



I've discovered Mariska's blog today and have been reading it some. It's pretty inspiring! Her words make me want to be a better person. Her words... I wonder if she actually writes the entries; some celebs have smaller people do handle menial things like that for them. I would like to think Mariska is genuine... but I know she is also a very busy woman. Either way. :o)

Two weeks until I have school again... well, two weeks minus a few days. I would like to actually do something constructive with this time, rather than just let it pass. An art project, a home improvement... need to do some home improvements QUICK because of my plans!!

I like life today and I'm trying to have a nicer attitude toward people. One step at a time. Ha - I almost need a 12-step PROGRAM to climb out of the hole of hatred I have been burrowing down into.

I like it when I wait as long as I can to go to lunch. Makes the afternoon shorter. :o)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Joyful Heart



I AM SO EXCITED!! I haven't pieced apart the meaning between my weird dream the other night, but it HAS served a good purpose! I have been learning about Mariska online, about her life and what her days are like, and I learned about the Joyful Heart Foundation she founded and runs. I am completely inspired to get back on the path of what I believe is my purpose. For YEARS, I have felt very strongly that my purpose in life was to help HURTING WOMEN. Already taking steps in that direction. Not sure of each detail yet, but I feel like I have a PURPOSE again and I haven't really... not for awhile! This is great.

I am also gaining an appreciation of Mariska as a respected potential colleague and not just a super hot chick. Though she will always be hot. :o) I plan to learn from this woman, all I can. I'm excited and so GLAD to be excited about something again!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Mariska...

Last night I dreamed about Mariska. We worked together on a police force. Right away we had a sense of positive gaydar on each other. We worked into the night and she asked if she could come over to my place. The air pulsed with sexual tension… it was glorious.

When we got there, we just laid down on top of the bed covers and talked for awhile. She was so beautiful and looked into my eyes when she talked to me. We talked and talked, just relaxing… talked about work, life, and then she casually asked, “So how come you’re not out at work?” This topic had not been brought up previously but I was not surprised because we both kind of just “knew” about each other.

“Well,” I said, “it’s just… really none of their business,” and smiled. She smiled… even the twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes smiled… and she said, “I know EXACTLY what you mean! And I handle my business the same way.”

Slowly, we leaned toward one another and kissed. My heart was absorbed into her. We spent awhile kissing and caressing one another… still dressed, but moving at a slow and comfortable pace in our new affection. I do remember touching and kissing her breasts, and was so excited I think I woke up for a second. :o) I felt like I was high the whole time we were together. We were totally focused on one another and in complete bliss. Heaven.

There was, however, another girl lying against the wall, far behind me on the large bed. She was asleep and more like in a trance or hibernation. She was a long-ago ex who truly repulsed me now but who had fallen into a drug-induced coma of some sort and was not going to wake up for at least a few more months. When I remembered she was over there, I was embarrassed and hoped Mariska wouldn’t notice. But she did. However, she was not put off or disgusted like I had worried she would have been.

I explained the situation to her and she, apparently, had seen the same sort of situation before. “Watch,” she said. “You can get some funny answers out of them this way.” Then, like in a scene from “The Princess Bride,” she slightly inserted something akin to a paint stirrer into this girl’s lips and moved her mouth, pretending to make her talk like a puppet. Mariska made the girl say, “Why am I here?” Then she removed the stick and the girl mumbled on her own, “It’s my fault.”

Mariska looked at me and winked, laughing. She used the stick to "make" the girl say, “How long will I be here?” Then, on her own again, the girl mumbled, “Until I wake up.”

Mariska laughed. “This can be lots of fun, you know.” She grinned. Turning, she noticed a few more girls of the same sort near the foot of this huge bed. I was slightly embarrassed still but Mariska told me not to be. She proceeded to play puppets with these other girls as well and we had some good laughs. I was finally beginning to relax once more. We returned to our original place on the bed and resumed our kissing and affection. I was completely in heaven. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

We were awakened early in the morning, before sunrise, by a call on Mariska’s phone. It was headquarters. After a quick, short conversation, Mariska leaned over, kissed me, and said, “Come on, we have to go.”

As she drove us back to headquarters, she filled me in on what was up. “Those girls have been reported missing, and you are the prime suspect for their disappearance.”

“What? But I didn’t do anything! What am I going to do?”

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll handle this.”

(Something that always turns me on is a woman who vows to protect and defend me… whew!! Hehe)

Side by side, we walked close together up the shadowy, gray cement steps into the police office. We went to my office to set down my things, then to her office to set down hers. In the hallway, we met the boss.

“What is going on?” he asked, incredulously.

“Now wait a minute.” Mariska interrupted him firmly. “She is innocent here so back down.” Then she proceeded to explain to him why those girls were at my apartment and why it was nothing I had done.

And she cleared my name.

And I was in love.

And then I woke up. :o)

DEFINITELY one to research and decode... LOL... I've been having all KINDS of crazy dreams lately!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sad...

I buried a puppy this evening. Someone had laid it on the grass near the sidewalk by my house. It had been hit, best I could tell. It was lying on a cloth diaper as if someone had carried it to that spot. Poor sweet puppy.

I dug a grave in our back yard and laid the little guy to rest. He deserved that respect.

Carrie and I were so mad that some irresponsible person/people first of all let a puppy out to run in the street, and second that they just laid it by the sidewalk.

I don't understand people around here. They either have a dog that stays tied to a chain that is at MOST 4 feet long, that is never walked and never played with... or they don't watch out for their pets at all. I don't know which is worse; confined neglect or not being protected at all. I just want to take all the dogs around here I see treated wrong and go start a dog island somewhere.

I do know that the local animal protection people are about to get VERY familiar with my voice.

Rest in peace, sweet puppydog. Heaven is better than what you would have had here, and I'm sure of that.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Give That Girl a Granita and Step On It!!


Since I was in college, some chemical compound in a PJ's Granita with Hazelnut has done a good job of making me smile. No knowledge as to why. But it puts me in a better mood.

They're filming something downtown today; got a few roads blocked off. I can't get past the bitter taste in the back of my throat because it brings to mind the horrible JENNY SCHECTER from the good ol' L-Word and how horrible she was in that mass of vomit that was season five. Not a fan of movie sets.

Have to confess I'm a bit of a hater these days... dunno... whenever I see someone dressed all shiny and sparkly, or encounter a stranger who would be considered particularly attractive by the public as a whole, I immediately detest them on some level in my mind and my digestive system. Maybe I prejudge that they will be snobby or bitchy. Maybe I am insecure about MY letter-fly hairdo of the day and my Goodwill getup... women in spikes make me angry, like who the hell do you think you are all prancing around like the world owes you something.

I am angrier than I would rather be, lately.

However, I have found that smiles are usually returned. WHEN I decide to smile... which is seldom.

I don't like people. Except the ones I know. And the ones I meet, who are nice. But I'm very guarded against the ones I don't know.

Whatever.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Life

Life is challenging today. But I will make it. Yes I will.

Now on to the things I'm procrastinating getting done... :o)