Sunday, February 27, 2011

Livin' in the Big D

Right now I am having a major MISSING DALLAS moment. Sitting here in this Starbucks does it to me... HA- well I probably associate Starbucks with Dallas... as much time as I spent in SB while I lived there.

I miss the sense of freedom... the enormous city with so much to explore... no boundaries and no limits (well, once I got rid of Mandie........ GRRRRRRRRRRRRR...)

Freedom and opportunity and huge, tall buildings and the running trail made over the old railroad track... and Aisha and Rose and Jessica and Jen and Angela and Virginia and Kristin and Scot and JourneyOut and TROY... and going to Bellini's with a group of friends after church on Wednesday nights... and Sue Ellen's and Ciao Bella... and Gerri... we had some good times. Also some horrible times, and it was right for that relationship to end... but the good times will remain good memories.

But, if I had the chance to move somewhere, I would not move BACK to Dallas. I would move to a NEW city, new horizons, new opportunities and new explorations to dive into.

I long for that. Maybe someday. LONG for it, do ya hear me?? LOL

Never know what tomorrow holds. You just never know! I do know this - God is all about giving us the desires of our heart! And He knows BETTER than I do, what will totally strike that sweet spot for me. :)

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Jesus Thing

Hippie is sitting in my lap as I type this. Sweet lil boy. :)

So, we had a minor disagreement this evening. We had met, there disagreed, and drove home separately.

The whole drive home, I defended myself verbally "to her" while I was in the car alone. I laid out the whole case, why I was right, and even added a few things she'd done before that *I* hadn't liked.

But deep down, the truth was, I knew I had been in the wrong. A few points on the topic could have gone one way or the other; just details... but the underlying fact was that I was wrong.

I got home, brought Luna outside on her leash. She got home and we made pleasant small talk. I was feeling frustrated, and a little guilty.

So I was walking Luna, going over my points with God in a hushed voice. All of a sudden, I caught a breathed reminder in my mind... because I have been praying lately, "Lord, let me be more like You. Let my life be a reflection of You. Make me more like You." etc. And I said, "Oh yeah, Lord! The Jesus thing!!"

Suddenly my whole attitude changed. All this prayer to be more like God, and there I was screwing up a major "WWJD" moment. My attitude lightened up, I felt positive, and I went home and delivered a thorough, sincere apology.

And things rolled right back on track. I'm a little sleepy and I don't know if this is coming out right, but it was good. God is very good, and on my side even when I'm wrong... helping me make it right. Awesome.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


I told Carrie I was having a Fox News overload. Her response? "Well I'm not even watchin' it!" YES BUT IT'S ON. *sigh*

I say that with a hint of humor. That's our thing; that's our way. We're alright.

It's almost 8 on a Saturday morning and, like Carrie said earlier, that kind of is sleeping in when you're used to getting up at 5. Though, like she also said, 9:30 would be more like it.

Looks like it rained last night. It's not SUPPOSED to rain any more... at least not for awhile... and yes I'm pouting, but we had a long string of horrible weather... freezing cold and lots of mud. The weather people were saying it was going to stay pretty for awhile. I hope it brightens up today.

There's a parade tonight called the Krewe of Vieux. It's like Spanish Town; makes light pokes at political figures. I kind of want to go but moreso want to go to church tomorrow. I am going to church, period. We have had to miss 2 weeks bc of not having the gas money. I got paid yesterday. I'm goin to church tomorrow. :)

A lot has happened since I last blogged. Egypt ousted its dictator president, now almost all of the middle east countries want to do the same. Also, now all the teachers in Madison, WI are having a big protest party because their state government wants them to BEGIN paying six percent of their health insurance premiums. As opposed to paying nothing, like they are used to. Get the hell over it. Be grateful you HAVE a job and have insurance. Not everyone can say that.

I'm sick of hearing about WI on the news, is my point.

My latest musical fascination is Adele. WOW. Tie my heart in a knot, man... it's not even a physical attraction; I'm just enamoured by her voice.

Her songs make me want to write more music. :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Once Was a Friend

Awful dream last night. Involved Lisa Yohn being very sinister and mean to me because I'm a lesbian. Calling me dirty, telling me to stay away from her because I was so nasty. That hurt me so badly. I was proud and strong about my identity... just taken by surprise and truly shocked.

But she was just another one. Another Lisa my sister, another my mom, another Wendy and Casey. Just another. And I will not change or bend; it just hurts, every one after another after the next.

I'm so sick of it, and it's tiring. I'm resentful deep down underneath. The anger is affecting my life and it has to go. I asked God to take the anger and replace it with love. I need that desperately.