God is Smiling, I Can Just See It :)

After ALL I went through last week, all the tears and misery and emotional sludge, all the asking God "What am I FOR??"... I've come around the corner. I have much more steady footing and a sense of HOW I need to seek God.

So, this morning, I was working on an in-depth Bible study using online concordances and dictionaries and lexicons... really digging in! When what catches my eye in the corner of one window on my computer??

THANK YOU, LORD! I can't help but laugh. And of course I am going to download and read this FREE gift of a book!

He is my HOPE!

If this pasted link works on this blog, I encourage you to click on it and get the book for yourself also. I mean, hey - free encouragement!

And if clicking the picture doesn't work, just go to the page where I saw it... by clicking HERE! (If you don't see the ad for that book on the right, hit refresh until it comes up; different ads show up each time you reload the page.)

God is GOOD. :)

In the Aftermath

Hillsongs United has a song called "Aftermath." It is a powerful song that gives me the feeling of having had a huge storm wave crash over me and finally reaching air, taking that first deep, frightful breath... kneeling there in the wet sand, looking up for any spot of light I might find, confused, dazed, and... grateful.

I went through what felt like a category 5 hurricane this week. I don't know what set it off and I don't know what perpetuated it, though I can make a few spiritual guesses.

Without going into elaborate detail about what I went through, the ups and downs, the tears, the questions, the insecurities screaming inside me, I would like to step to the next level of all this and share what I have learned.

I would like to share what I KNOW.

Number One: I KNOW that God has specific plans for me; plans to prosper me and not to harm me; plans to give me a future and a hope. That verse in Jeremiah 29 actually says GOD KNOWS the plans He has for me.

God knows His plans. I just know that He HAS plans, and that they are GOOD. And I choose to trust Him. I trust Him with my life. I don't know what turns my life's path will take, or why certain things happen, but I know it will end with a good result. God knows what the good result is. I don't, but I trust Him to take me to that good place, and I trust Him that whatever road I am on right now is the right road.

Number Two: I KNOW that all things work together for my good. Because I love God. Because I am called according to HIS purpose. Note that it does not say all things ARE good. For instance, not every ingredient mixed in to make a cake tastes good all by itself. But all those things mixed in TOGETHER come out with a very good result. Here is another opportunity for me to trust God. "Lord, I don't like this experience in my life right now but I know that, in the end, a good result will come, and I TRUST." We have to trust God wholeheartedly in the HERE AND NOW, because He is taking us down whatever certain path to reach a very good place.

Number Three: I want to LEARN; both from the Bible, from the Spirit in prayer, and from other people I see seeking God with all their hearts, minds, souls, and strengths. I pray for these people, that God will bless them and help them to stand strong as leaders and as ministers in their own capacities. I am so hungry to learn and grow. I feel like a Timothy in search of a Paul, in some ways. God has blessed me by putting 3 women of God in my life that I am learning from. They may not even know I am learning from them, but God uses their lives to teach me. These women, I'm sure if I asked they would readily confess to the entire world, that they are FAR from perfect... just seeking God, growing and seeking and trying just like me and you and many other people. I'm not putting them each on their own shiny pedestal; I am looking for the JESUS in them.

As I was writing this blog, God has also been impressing me with another concept... just as He uses people to teach ME, He will also use ME as a role model for others. In 1 Timothy 4, Paul writes to Timothy: "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." I need to keep in mind that God wants to use me as an example for others.

It's PURPOSE. Everything in life can be traced to God's PURPOSE. I've come out of my storm with greater understanding of MY purpose.

God showed me, I can either think something would be a good thing to do, or I can DO that thing!

He blessed me with a sister in the Lord who encouraged me today that people around me appreciate the gifts God has put in me. I don't say that to brag; quite the opposite, I say that humbly out of gratitude! I felt really down on myself this past week and hearing that was life-giving to me!

I heard a pastor say recently that we are all uniquely gifted. In my state of mind last week, my thought was, "Really... ME??" But the answer is YES, YOU!! Look at these verses from I Corinthians 12:

"There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us."

Verse 7 of that chapter is very specific: "A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other." God has given us gifts SO WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER.

Chapter 12 goes on to elaborate about the gifts of the Spirit, what they are and what they can do. I encourage you to read it for yourself and pray about it.

In my life, I feel lost without a sense of purpose. I was struggling this week to keep my head above water in regard to this concept, but I feel like I've found it again. I am ready to move forward from here.

I have a lot more praying to do. I have a lot more learning to do. I just feel like I'm at a new starting line, for a new segment in my life. I am excited and ready to go!! However, I need to maintain the maturity to go it at GOD's pace. Not run off on my own, but trust Him to walk me down this road, take HIS turns, at HIS speed.

I feel a quiet calm inside me when I think of that. It's very wonderful.

God has a good plan for me. I don't know all of it, but I see some of it, and I trust Him to execute that plan in my life.

All things are working together for MY GOOD, because I love God and am called according to His purpose.

I am learning. I am looking for examples to learn from, and pray to keep an awareness that God can use me as an example for others.

So how about you? What have you been through lately, and what have you learned? Where are you headed? In what ways has God gifted you so that you can help other people?

Think about it. Pray about it. It's REAL, and it is TRUE. It is true for You.

Here is a link to the Hillsongs United song I referenced at the beginning of this blog post. Please take a listen. Be blessed, and be refreshed.

Storms come. Sometimes we are hurt, sometimes we are confused, sometimes we are lonely. But look up! Because there are good things in the aftermath.

AFTERMATH

Floating

Today I was so depressed I could hardly breathe. Figuratively. I could barely function...

...OFF AND ON. I would start to feel great and think, "Man, I've licked this thing!" Then, moments later, it was like a wrecking ball smashed into my head and I was miserable.

One moment I would feel hope, the next moment I would feel utterly flat.

I don't know what set off this recent emotional onslaught; usually I'm a steady "okay."

I did start to get some clarity, here and there, and I was writing down ideas on how to make my life both simpler and also more effective. Then the wrecking ball would swing in and I was useless.

I even cried toward the end of the day at work.

I drove home and called Lena. We talked awhile, I opened up, and she was wonderful. I could not ask for a more supportive, compassionate and understanding partner.

Then I came inside and slept for almost 2 hours.

Abd I felt... TENTATIVELY... a little bit better.

I stayed home tonight instead of going to Lena's likely we'd originally planned.

And so I say I'm floating. No longer drowning but, rather, lying wet in a rescue life raft.

Being very still... and very quiet.

This whole experience has really shaken me. But I'm learning, and moving forward VERY slowly.

I need to go to sleep. Would be very grateful for prayers. Thank you!

Complimentary Colors and Prayer

This month and next, I am taking a leisure class on beginning acrylic painting. We meet every Sunday afternoon in a really cool building on LSU campus.

Yesterday, one of the things we talked about was colors. There are the three primary colors and, for each of these, there is an "opposite" color called its complementary color. The complementary color for red is green; for blue, the complementary color is orange; and for yellow, the complementary color is purple.

Complementary colors are the colors that look best next to, or best "complement" its primary color. I found it interesting that a color's opposite is the best match to it, to create the best "flow," you could say, for a painting.

Fast forward to today. Today, when I got home, there was a business card from the Sheriff's Office taped to my door. Immediately my heart lodged in my throat. I don't know of any crimes I've committed... I had a car repossessed about 6 years ago for which the case was never officially closed... but I have no idea what THE LAW wants with me. My mind started racing... what if it's this, what if it's that... etcetera.

Whew.

Praying, praying. Praying. Taking long, deep breaths.

Then came the "eureka!"

Just like the opposite of a color is its complementary color, it occurred to me that the opposite to a negative I'm trying to pray away... is ITS complement.

The direct opposite to fear? I think that's... the most exact thing I could think of was SECURITY. That just felt "right." So I prayed for security. And I felt a little more peace, and a little more, and a little more. Now, I'm feeling pretty calm and pretty much... better.

What are you facing right now? Pin down a name for the main feeling that issue gives you. Now, think about the feeling that is most directly OPPOSITE of that feeling. And pray for that opposite... for that complement, to take how you're feeling and make it better.

Everyone might identify different feelings and different opposites for those feelings. However, here are a few ideas of opposites to some common ("primary") feelings you might face:

Anger... Calm

Hurt... Healing

Anxiety... Assurance

Depression... Peace

These are just a few ideas. Think of your own also. Your feelings and their complements may differ from one situation to the next.

The main thing to remember is that God is on YOUR SIDE. He is on your team; he is your coach, your parent, your partner, your Love.

I hope these ideas helped you to pray, to feel that you've prayed effectively, and to see results.

Big Faith for Big Promises

Genesis 15:6 - "And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Abram. He would become Abraham, the father of many nations... but at this point in the story, he was just Abram, a guy alone out in the rough wilderness at a crude, hand-built altar he had constructed as a place to worship the Lord.

God was making huge promises to Abram... I will make you this, I will give you that... yet there stood Abram, all by himself and empty-handed.

God had promised him more descendants than he could fathom... and Abram was getting on up there in age... yet still had no son to be his heir and further his family line.

"God... well... I mean... HOW?"

God promised, and the Bible tells us that Abram BELIEVED. And it infers that God was pleased with Abram's belief.

God sees the BIG picture... way more than we see. God has plans for our lives and knows exactly how these plans will work out. We don't often see the "how"... we just hear the "what." God has it all planned out. We need only to BELIEVE Him, go about our lives as usual, and trust that what God has promised will come to pass at the time HE has designated.

Have you ever made a promise to someone? Maybe a really big promise. Maybe they had no idea how you would fulfill this promise... but YOU KNEW exactly how it would all happen. Maybe you felt excited just imagining the look on that person's face when you presented them with what you had promised!

How would it feel if they didn't believe you, blew you off, got mad and went to sulk?

But how would you feel to know they BELIEVED you and had confidence in your ability to do what you had said you would do? In short, you would be pleased. You would appreciate the confidence they were placing in you.

God has made some really big promises to you. You might not be able to imagine HOW those promises will come to pass, but ask God to give you the faith to BELIEVE.

Then enjoy the peace that follows as you wait for that kept promise to show up in your life.

We are very small little beings. God is a BIG God! And God ALWAYS keeps His promises.