I am at Starbucks in DS. I recently found out a very dear friend of mine from college works here. She is from the part of my life I closed the door on, and she does not know I closed the door. I am happy with my current life, but she does not know I am different.
I looked up to her. Turns out, she looked up to me as well. I kind of feel obligated to tell her I'm not the same person, but I don't want to crash her world. Not that I'm such a big cosmic influence - I don't mean that - but when anyone blends two otherwise supposed opposites and lives in harmony that way, it can really give some people a headache.
I want to plan a time to sit down with her, when she is not in the middle of work, and talk to her. I feel most of all compelled to be honest; not so much that I need to confess per se, but that I should not let her go around carrying this image of me that is incorrect.
Arrrrrrrghlhhhhhhhhhhh...... I have lost friends over being gay. I'm not going to NOT be gay, and I'm not ashamed... it's just... of only I could neatly compartmentalize my life and not have to explain anything to anybody.
I feel like I need to do some soul searching. I'm not sure what I'll be looking for... maybe peace.
