Hello. Happy Saturday.
I used to write a lot in this blog. Then I stopped completely for a few years.
I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Instead, I set New Year's goals. So whatever year I stopped writing, I set a goal to talk less and listen more. I decided this included blogging; not saying all kinds of things for other people to read, but listening to what people said. Said to me and around me.
That practice helped me a lot. It became somewhat of a habit. I would listen more completely when my boss explained what she wanted me to do. I would listen to people telling me something without interrupting. It made me feel humble in a good way. Like, what I have to say here is not more important than what this other person is trying to say to me.
To talk less and listen more also helped me from popping off at the mouth and spurting out things... things I would later be embarrassed about or feel sooooo stupid for having said. Not saying words eliminates the concern of accidentally saying stupid words. I did not have to worry about saying things and then wondering obsessively over what someone thought about what I'd said. Less worrying I'd offended somebody, come across as rude, or hurt someone. Talking less and listening more freed me from wondering if I needed to go back and re-explain something or if I should just leave it alone.
So, talking less and listening more gave me peace. Freedom from worry and from mentally scrutinizing and criticizing my every action. Because that has long been a bad habit of mine; overthinking and picking myself apart. That comes as part of the lasting soul stain of having been in a very, very emotionally abusive relationship while I lived in Texas. But that's another long story and very, very upsetting to bring up in my mind. Like, seriously. But anyway. that's where a lot of that thinking is rooted.
So, that first year passed and I kept going. Not wanting to speak or write my own thoughts for other people to read, but listening more carefully to what other people had to say.
I have kind of faded away from that. Meaning, I don't remember as much to talk less and listen more. I would like to remember to focus on doing that because it helped me a lot and I felt a lot better emotionally.
Anyway, so that's why I stopped blogging. I might pick it up again, maybe a little bit.