I just woke up from dreaming my mom died. It was colossally horrible... a heart attack or something... but the loss was so immensely hard to take!
In the dream, I kind of remember being told by a doctor she hadn't made it... then I was in a living room with a bunch of family members, comforting each other and sharing memories.
In the dream, I went off by myself for a little while. I came across my mom's set of keys. Like any other normal day, I picked them up and went to put them in their right place just outside the kitchen (in the house in my dream where we were).
Setting her keys in their tray, I was overwhelmed with grief and sadness like I, in my waking life, haven't felt in longer than I can remember.
In the dream, the pain was almost as forceful as being hit by a big pickup truck. I started sets crying then sank to the ground, my back against the side of a counter top.
"I HURT SO BAD!" I cried out. "I hurt SO BAD!!" Over and over, sobbing, shaking with the intensity of an earthquake and crying oceans of tears.
Without a word, my sister came and sat down beside me. No words; she just hugged me and hugged me, and that was the best thing she could have done in that moment.
I woke up with tears in my eyes, hearing the thunder outside and feeling it reverberate through my chest. Thinking, "This is how it felt in that dream; like thunder inside my chest."
That was one of those dreams from which recovery is hard and gradual.
I love my mom enormously. I texted her to say I loved her and asked how she was doing, whether she is working today.
"Yes. Love you too."
Best three little words in the world. 🌞🌷🌸
