Today is October 10, the day, in 1994 when my Pa-Pa Douglas Ray Lovett, Sr. died. I miss him so, so much, and now that I am older I wish more than ever that he was here because there are so many things I wish I could ask him about.
His years growing up, his time in WWII, his many entrepreneurial undertakings, his time at the Ethyl plant, which is now Albemarle, which is where I have now been working for four years.
He was a loving man, a strong Navy man who grew up in Albany, LA and married my grandmother before going in the Navy so she would not find someone else while he was gone. Their first son, my uncle Douglas Ray Lovett Jr, was born in San Francisco. I've been told many times of the train trip from San Francisco back to Louisiana, when all the women with babies spent most of the trip sleeping on the floor of the women's restroom, to nurse and to give their babies a flat place to lie down. So many stories; so few I remember in as much detail as they were told to me... and so very many details I never got a chance to learn.
Pa-Pa worked and officially retired from the Baton Rouge City Parish, but I have no idea which department he worked for nor what kind of tasks made up his work days. He built numerous houses and at least one apartment building that I know of in the North Baton Rouge area. That's where my mom grew up.
When I, the first of what was to be my parents' four children, was very small, Pa-Pa purchased 6 acres of land out in Central. He lived on part of the property, gave part to his son and part to his daughter. And that is where I grew up.
I remember the old pictures of our first Thanksgiving dinner in Pa-Pa's and Ma-Ma's not-yet-completed house. But it was home, and it was family, and it was wonderful.
I remember when Pa-Pa used to give me a ride every morning to where I was picked up by my school bus to go all the way across town to Istrouma Middle Magnet School, which, all these years later, has been torn down.
Pa-Pa could build anything. He helped my grandmother with her enormous vegetable and fruit garden, he built a large shed in his backyard, he built a chicken coop in the yard where they kept chickens, turkeys, geese, quail, bitty hens... you name it.
On one large end of that yard, he had a large pond dug and stocked with fish so we could learn to catch them. (Every so often, the creek running alongside the lengths of our property would flood and give the pond fish a means of escape, haha)
They had goats, he built them a little house where they ate and lived and had babies. Those goats also kept the grass down to a bare minimum in that large yard. Now it is all grown over, and 2005's Hurricane Katrina knocked down trees that smashed up places in the fence, but that was long after he was gone and, to my knowledge, those things were never repaired.
He built his house himself, of course with the help of others, but he designed it and built it himself for the most part. Now that house and most of the property he purchased is sold and being lived in and enjoyed by other people. It makes me sad, as if we've lost a part of Pa-Pa with his accomplishments going into the hands of other people. But I had no way to stop or change any of that, so I have to accept where life's road has wound, and move forward in my own life.
One day, I long to find my Pa-Pa in heaven and give him a long, enormous hug that lasts for several hundred years. I mean, will have all of eternity before us so what's a few hundred years? Haha
Then I want to take him and we can go for a long walk, just the two of us, down a golden street next to water that shines like pure glass and he can tell me stories and answer questions and he can probably ask questions and I will tell him about my life if he wants.
I remember him to be a big-hearted man. My mom always seemed to me to be a daddy's girl and I know she will be elated to see him again also. But I will have some time with him of my own. I was his Coley, not his first granddaughter but his first granddaughter from my mom and I really believe we had something special. He made me feel special. He made me feel unconditionally loved.
I don't know what his reaction would have been, had he been around at the point in my life where I figured out my lesbian identity. I'm actually kind of glad he wasn't here, because that might have been a sticking point between us and I would have hated that, though I could not have denied my true self as I tried to do for many years before I finally admitted it and moved forward with my life.
In heaven, I'm feel certain that will be a non-issue and the prevailing theme of everyday will be love. Just like Jesus said during his time on earth, "Love one another as I have loved you." That will be the prevailing theme of every single day in heaven and grievances and offenses will have no place there. Not just a concept but a true real life tangible reality.
I love you, Pa-Pa. I can't wait to see you again. I know we will have years of stories to tell each other and will create more stories and memories once we are in heaven together. Tell Jesus I love him... not that I can't do that myself from here, but please tell him in person.
I love you, I miss you, I look forward to eternity and having more time with you and others that I love who have gone before me. That's all for now.
