Bedtime Sunday

So, the Emmys are on and I'm watching some guy I have no idea who he is receiving an award for something I've never heard of. But that's cool, because Lady Gaga was the one who gave him the award. She actually looks nice tonight I mean not that she doesn't look nice most of the time; I just never thought of her as attractive but tonight... Tonight, she kind of has it.

It is Sunday night. I have to go to work in the morning. Not looking forward to that, but... It will be ok. I'm in kind of a mood of "who gives a crap." I don't feel like taking a bath so I'm probably not. I don't feel like going to sleep right now so I'm probably not. Because when I get up tomorrow morning ,whether or not I have taken a bath and no matter what time I fall asleep, I will be tired. Then I will go to work and sweat. So, who cares.

Lately, I find myself fascinated by Kate Winslet. I do that. I get very interested in one actor or actress and try to see every movie they have made. So now it's Kate Winslet. Last night, Lena and I watched Revolutionary Road. It was a fascinating movie but ended very sadly. One thing about Kate Winslet is, in almost every movie I've seen of her so far she's had sex. And last night was the second time I saw her die. So, yeah, Kate Winslet is the shit. She is an amazingly talented actress and plays each role distinctly to the character in each story. Meaning she's not just the same person saying words in a bunch of different settings. She creates true, distinct characters each time.

Wow. Now on the Emmys is a woman showing way more cleavage than I would like to see on her. It's actually a bit nauseating. So let me avert my eyes, haha.

Some show named olive kitteridge keeps winning and I have never heard of it before. Of course, I don't have cable so its probably on something like HBO or whatever. I don't think I'm missing out on anything, though. I just have one less billl than a lot of people do. Hahaha yes I was right, they just said HBO

Now this woman who is talking sounds drunk. I think it's funny; she looks really frazzled and frizzy and she sounds drunk and she's making an ass of herself on television. Awesome. Because when you're a celebrity, you can do that and get away with it and also get paid for it. Nice. I showed up at work one time apparently still a tad drunk from the night before and learned my lesson to never do that again. Now I'm watching people get paid to be drunk representing their jobs on live television. How cool is that. I'll tell you, it's not cool, it sucks. Whatever.

Lena is not in the room right now or she would be staring at me cockeyed the way I am talking into my phone like this. Yeah, I've kind of grown addicted to this talk instead of type feature on smartphones these days. It's so much easier, & I think so much faster than I can type, especially on a phone., that it just works better.

Now Lena has come in the room but she's not looking at me, she's looking in her bedside table. Poor thing, she has not been feeling good all weekend. She's a trooper though, and she's taking the time to rest so that she can press forward tomorrow and go to work and get done what she needs to get done. Gotta respect that.

I was just earlier watching season 4 of Breaking Bad and these people were drunk and high continuously for what seemed like a week's time at this guy's house, Jesse Pinkman, and he kept supplying them with loads and loads of pizza so now I kind of have a yen for pizza. But, no pizza for me.

I need to go wash my face and brush my teeth, do the whole floss routine, and go to bed. Lucky me, I am NOT going to work on Tuesday so I have that to look forward to. Yeah... Going to the vagina doctor on Tuesday... But at least I won't be going to work, ha! & I will leave you with that thought. Good night, America! Have a great Monday.

Grateful

I am grateful for my home. I am grateful for the house in which I live, its colors warmth and charm, and grateful for those who share this home with me.

I am grateful for Lena, Luna, Hippie and Leroy. I am grateful for the still, quietness of this morning. Grateful to see my cats staring out the window, their steady gazes fixed intently on goodness knows what. :-)

I have a really good life. I'm grateful for my job. Don't always enjoy getting up at the butt crack of the morning to go to work, bur I am grateful my job, for most of the people I work with (ha ha), but especially to have a moderately decent income.

I am grateful to be, currently, working on paying down my debts. I have goals and a plan, and I should have the debt I'm currently working on paid off no later than January 2016. Then, on to the next step. And so on and so forth, and when I am finished, I will feel rich because I really make enough money to live ok. It's just being sucked up by debts. When the debts are gone, I will be able to make a very sweet savings and live comfortably. I am grateful for that blessing.

I am grateful for the calm, simple things in life. Grateful for a cat's meow. I'm grateful for the sound of birds that I hear right now outside.

I am grateful for Lena and the orderly way she lives her life. I am also grateful for her crazy sense of humor! She is the best of every world, and I could not ask for more. She is patient, creative, caring, gentle, silly, crazy and very smart. I could not have gone to a human version of Build-a-Bear and made a better life partner, ha!

Just feeling super grateful this morning and wanted to share. I encourage you to sit still, notice what is around you wherever you are, and find the things that you can be grateful for. It makes life a much happier place to be.

May God continue to bless you GREATLY today!

Doctor Blues

So, today is Tuesday. It actually feels like Monday because I took Monday off from work. With the previous Monday being Labor Day, that's two Mondays I had off in a row. I also took off this past Friday so II had a four day weekend. My vacation days expire on October 10th and I'm not going to let those suckers go to waste. Haha

I got a bill in the mail today from my neuropsychologist. I've been very frustrated with that office because they have only filed my claim as psychotherapy, and my insurance, for some crazy reason, will not cover mental health treatment. (Funny that I said "for some 'crazy' reason"... Hahaha.) Point being, we're not having counseling or talk therapy sessions; he prescribes meds for me and I check in with him every 6 months.

Anyway, I decided I wasn't going to go back to see this doctor anymore if I had to pay for it mostly out of pocket. I'm paying out of every paycheck for health insurance! What's the deal? I even appealed the claim with the insurance but they denied it.

Anyway, I got a bill from that clinic today and they took a little more off so now I owe 80 something dollars. I thought about it, & I decided... I can pay that. If my ridiculous insurance won't cover my seeing this doctor, so be it, whatever, screw them, That's fine, whatever. I will pay what I have to pay, but I think it's best that I see this doctor because he's a specialist. I could get the same medications from a general practitioner, but they would not be specially trained in this area or be able to answer my questions as expertly about what's going on in my head.

Specifically, I have non-epileptic seizures. It's weird and kind of embarrassing to talk about, but the seizures are similar to partial complex seizures, not grand mal, fall on the floor and shake, seizure... It's a seizure I can feel and it slows me down and it freaks me out. Apparently, this is not caused by epilepsy; it's my body's way of managing feelings of stress or trauma. These seizures are controlled with an anti-anxiety medication.

Anyway, I'm going to keep going to this doctor that my mean old insurance won't pay much on, because he is good at what he does and that is what I need.

It's almost 7:30 p.m. and I need to wrap this up soon, but I do want to see the weather out here is amazing. It's breezy and comfortable, as in cool. The heat this summer was about to drive me nuts. (There I go again with the references to mental health... whaaa? heh...)

Anyway. I took Luna for a walk earlier, and it was lovely. The wind, the dimming sunlight, all that. Now the sky is a muted kind of bluish periwinkle. The street lights have come on and I can see the sky, the red brick building across the street, the green grass, the white sidewalks, the grey/brown pavement on the street, the green grass in my yard, the red bricks on my walkway, the black iron posts on my porch, the off-white string to the swing I'm sitting in, and the maroon shorts I'm wearing. Teehee

...And the beautiful Lena, who just walked outside to join me! Goodnight, world! Life is going to be OK after all. I have to believe that.   :-)

Peaceful

I wrote this blog yesterday afternoon/evening (Tuesday 9/7) but my phone wouldn't cooperate to let me post it. Trying again with my tried and trusted desktop dynamo.  Happy Hump Day, everybody!

Sitting on my porch, in my favorite swing, watching the falling rain taper off. It didn't even rain that hard today, just a little... Just enough. I felt a few drops hit my legs and bare feet; the swing is right near the edge of the porch. I am so glad  fall is on the way in.  Supposedly, according to our friends the meteorologists, we will have a cool front at the end of this week.  I'm totally posed to be utterly exhilarated. :-)

I had a pretty good day today. Work was not too, too stressful yet I had enough things to do to keep me busy and feeling productive. When I got home, I gave Luna a bath outside. She has needed a bath... BADLY... for weeks now, I'm ashamed to say, but I have not felt like bathing my smelly girl. Just so happened, today I got home and had a flash of "want-to" so I got Luna straightaway, took her outside, and gave her the bath of her life. Haha.

Anyway, after that, I took her for a walk on her leash. I like to do that after I bathe her, to give her a chance to kind of air dry a little. Today we only walked a little bit because dark clouds were moving in and I kept hearing thunder. So now, I am in the swing and Luna is behind me, between the rocking chairs, up against the brick wall of the house. She is such a good dog. I couldn't have asked for a better canine companion.

Tomorrow at work should be okay. Nothing huge on the schedule, at least not that I know of, haha.

I'll go inside before long, get bathed and clean, and settle in with my sweet, wonderful, amazing Lena Pie for the evening. Life with Lena is very close to perfect, I'd say. We love each other very much and have declared our intentions to be together forever, wedding or no wedding. We laugh and each call the other our "Beyonce." (er... fiancee... heh) Very fitting. :-)

The rain has stopped now. Only the occasional drip from the edge of the roof. Time to take my delightful, damp dog  inside and gear down for the evening.

C'est bon!