Let the Sun Shine

It's a great day out here today! And yes, by "out here" I mean I am outside in the sun, clear sky, not too hot... got my Lu with me... life is GOOD today. :o)

Luna and I are chilling outside the CC's Coffee House on Perkins Rd. She has a bowl of water that she is classically ignoring. Someone is smoking out here and of course that sucks but the smoking area and the dog area are combined so I really can't complaim.

I am out here supposed to be working on school... and i might... but my batter isn't verycharged and might not last too long. It will all work out one way or another. I'm not worried about much today. :o)

Actually if the smokers in the corner would finish and leave... I believe there is an elecric outlet over there... the air would be cleaner... and I could give Luna a little more slack on her lhe worldeash....... just sayin' :o)

It is hte perfect day for taking pictures, also... I need batteries.. that can be fixed easily. It's just a great, great day and I am so glad to not be at home! Mariska's great and all but really... too much of any good thing can be bad for a person.

Just me and Lu, with the world at our toes! Sure to turn out a great, great day. :o)

Where I Am

I've been thinking, and have almost concluded, that I am not in my "place" in life right now. Or yet... I haven't decided. I don't feel like I really "fit" in most places I find myself lately. I am uncomfortable with myself, particularly my appearance, and wish for a place I felt more of the same and not such a constant reminder that I am not "as"... skinny, pretty, nicely dressed... whatever. I dress how I like, and though other women might look cute as pie in their tight skirts and little pointy-heeled hybrids between rodeo/snow boots and pumps... ...that is not me. I would not be comfortable trying to look like Reese Witherspoon. My style does not really fall under one umbrella term... I dress like me, that's about it.

I think I want to go live somewhere on a farm full of lesbians. Where we are valued for things different from things for which the "society" entity values people. Where the value of a woman is not her hairstyle and how nicely her makeup is done but how she contributes to society in real ways, tangible and intangible... not just in terms of aesthetics.

I read a book about that once... those lesbian festivals where women are just free to BE... and even walk around shirtless, which we are not permitted to do in society.

I did take my shirt off once in a gay bar. I was irritated because some of the guys were shirtless and preening around in front of each other... it just seemed so stupid... so off came my shirt and I continued to play pool in my bra. The other 3 girls there with me were horribly mortified and begged me to put my shirt back on. I finally did, but not happily.

I want the freedom to walk around with my shirt off and my belly bulging over my pants. Not because it's attractive
- because it is SO not - but because it's an inequality against women. I'm sick of people being shocked and appalled at simple, really inconsequential things. Get over it. Just live your life, let me live mine, and look the other way if you don't like it.

Weird Dream

Last night I dreamed that this woman showed up banging on our back door - a heavyset Hispanic woman, like the lady hired to clean the house on the Goonies... remember that? Anyway, our landlord is supposed to come do some work here today (in real life) so, in the dream, Carrie and I wondered if he had sent her in his place. But she didn't speak English and we were not pre-warned of her arrival. Carrie told me to just let her in so she could start working. I was very hesitant but Carrie insisted so I let her in. To make a long story short, she started trying to steal all kinds of stuff from in the house. The landlord showed up em personne and said he had no idea who she was. I was furious and Carrie wasn't even sorry.

...One of those dreams you need to shake as soon as you wake up so you don't carry those feelings into the day against whoever upset you in the dream. Que serah serah. LOL

Couldn't easily find a picture of the cleaning lady but here's one of Chunk, just for happy memories' sake! ;o)