Because if I show up without a topic... she just asks me stupid questions about my life. Things that don't matter or that I don't care about. Last time, I had something REAL on my mind, we talked about that, and I felt very good about having gone to that session.
Today... it feels like I'm about to go chunk a copay down a wishing well. I am so nervous. I need to chill.
I am sharing this about myself because I said I was going to try to blog more and I really am drawing a blank as to what else to talk about right now.
Not allowed to talk about work... don't want to share my worries about OTHER people because I don't want to share anyone else's business... so that leaves me. And what is rattling around inside my head at present.
My lips are dry. Gotta fix that.
I kind of feel like the child of divorced parents, between my counselor and my neuropsychologist. Respectively, one wants me to take my anti-anxiety medicine more often and the other does not want me to take it too much and develop a tolerance for my dose. Seeing how the latter is the one who actually prescribes the stuff to me, I think I will take door #2. Maybe the talking will help.
I want to talk about how I go to sleep with my arms crossed tight across my chest and how that body language concerns me. And about how I try to loosen up but, when I do, I feel terrified.
Too much information for a blog? This is me, being real. A long-ago friend once told me there are just certain things I should put in a blog and the rest I should write down. But I don't agree. I believe in being my plain, open self. Maybe that will help someone not feel alone.
Okay, team. It's 4th down, 5 seconds on the clock, and we're down 5 points. Let's do this!!
