This is a burpee: BURPEEVIDEO
This is a Russian Kettlebell Swing: RKBS
Got it? Ok, great, here we go! 😊
So. This past Tuesday, we held a beautiful funeral service for my wonderful, loving, amazing grandmother. The service was pretty much perfect. People shared memories of her, sharing funny as well as emotional stories. The minister compared her, quite aptly, to the Proverbs 31 woman. The day was beautiful and the time with family was happy and soothing.
Still, it was hard. I loved my Ma-Ma and always will.
I pushed through the days, going back to work on Wednesday and working 12.5 hours toward making up the time i missed Monday and Tuesday.
On Thursday, I worked 10.5 hours then went back to CrossFit to work out. I needed it badly; I hadn't been since the previous Friday.
The workout was a killer. 20 burpees, 20 RKBS. Then 15 of each, then 10... THEN 15 of each AGAIN, then back up to 20. But I was down for it, and I went at it with a positive attitude.
It. Was. HARD.
Burpees alone can kick my butt. But back and forth between the two exercises was extremely tough, and I was panting not too far into the workout. However, I kept at it! I got all the way to my final set of 20 burpees. My coach and buddy Amber came and stood by me, counting the burpees with me to lend her support.
I was tired. I was out of breath. I got to about burpee number 12 when my body started shaking, my face started crumpling, and I...
I fell apart sobbing. Right there in the gym, in front of Amber and everyone else.
Crying is not something I do very often. I hadn't been feeling emotional that day... maybe numb, but definitely not feeling as torn up as it turned out I was.
So kind... Amber, who knew about my loss, understood what was going on and let me stop the workout.
I went in the ladies' room, sat on the floor in the end stall and just sobbed. I shook, and cried more tears than I have in a very long time.
Amber even came to check on me. She sat on the floor outside the stall and made sure I was okay.
"I'm a lot like you, Nicole; always staying tough. Sometimes a hard workout like that can break down your defenses."
That made sense.
I had to text her that evening and thank her.
It's a process, this grief thing. I do hurt deep down. I miss my Ma-Ma. We were close all my life. She is irreplaceable. Not that I want to replace her... it's just that I now have a big hole in my heart since she's gone.
So, there's no crying in baseball... or CrossFit... but I'm glad my system cracked and I had the chance to let out some of the grief I am going through.
Thank You, God, for tears... and for friends.
But not for burpees. LOL
