Saturday, August 22, 2015

Seven Sentiments on this Serene Saturday Morning

Seven random thoughts/concepts calmly bobbing my brain matter this morning:

1.  I am happy. Calm. Peaceful. And so grateful that cruel, oppressive heat has lifted a little.

2.  Thinking of my Dallas friend Jen Austin this morning... and her ex-partner Angela, their 3 amazing young daughters... Please give them all an extra big dose of love, Lord. Three cute littles now growing into distinct little people, forming their own individual personalities and opinions. No matter what else, I pray they would know You. Your love. Your unwavering trustworthiness. Amen.

3.  The past couple of nights, we've kept all 3 pets out of the bedroom because Lena says Luna's odor has become quite a bit too much for her to tolerate. I don't really smell it, but I respect my dear love so the pets have been sleeping together in the hallway and the living room. Not surprisingly, the pets have responded in their own little passive aggressive ways by leaving pillows and pillows worth of shedded hair and fur for us to clean up every morning. Ha ha ha

4.  This presidential race in the works is really making me queasy. I desperately do not want to see Donald Trump become president of this nation. I just see from him coming discrimination, Dungeness, dictatorship, and disaster. I was leaning towards supporting Hillary because she is more supportive of things that are important to me but all her email drama nonsense is seeming to affect her campaign in a negative fashion. this presidential race in the works is really making me queasy. I desperately do not want to see you Donald Trump become president of this nation. I just see from him coming discrimination, stinginess, disaster and a strong pull in the direction of dictatorship.  Currently registered as an independent, I will change my registration status to Republican in half a heartbeat if that's what it takes to get anyone besides Donald Trump on the final ballot in the 2016 election.

5.  I have been reading a book about Psycho-something-or-other Non-epileptic Seizure Disorder. This condition is currently being managed by a low dose of generic klonopin. Some doctors have told me there are ways to manage this condition and not take anti - anxiety meds. So I am reading this book to learn about how I might do that. The more I read, see more surmounting and challenging this in vision quest becomes and honestly it is making me tired. I would almost rather say screw it and just keep taking the meds. The problem is that my insurance company is really being a pain about paying for my visit to my Neuropsychologist, Dr. John Bolter. Cigna claims counseling is not covered on my policy. However, I do not see Dr. Bolter for counseling. I see him to get refills of my needed prescriptions. It could be said that this situation with said insurance company is quite counterproductive toward my recovery because they are causing me increasing anxiety over their assholeness. Maybe I can just start seeing a regular neurologist to get my prescriptions because that way there would be no mention of the illegal term psychology. Or, I could just see a primary care physician, pay a lower copayment. Get my prescriptions and be on my happy little way. I just like talking to Dr. Bolter because he is a specialist in this field and can answer my questions more concisely.

6.  I guess I had more on my mind then I realized, haha! Sorry this is turning out to be more of a bitch session then a simple recording of my thoughts. Well, this is me. Ha ha ha. I love Lena and I am ever grateful for her as the best part of my life. My favorite part of everyday is coming home from work to be with her,

7.  And, lastly there is a woman who has been a part of my life for a long time, maybe 20 or 30 years. I initially knew her as Carol Winn. Time and years have passed and now she is Callie Winn Crawford. When I was 11 or 12, I just about wanted to be this woman when I grew up. Haha. However, reality has taken its course and I have become me and she is still her, which is, after all, the best way for things to be. She is now retired from the United Methodist Church where she served in numerous churches for many years as  a caring and inspiring pastor. Ihave heard hundreds of her sermon. Recently, she has published an online collection of sermons called "Sermons From Below Sea Level".  These are sermons from the time directly following the onslaught of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. What stands out to me as I now read the sermons is the skill and artistry with which they were written. Listening is one thing, reading give me a much greater, deeper insight into what Carol / Callie was trying to say, to convey. Her writing is truly art, poetic almost, using rhymes and alliterations, descriptive and precise vocabulary, metaphors and similes to form a virtual painting with her words. A painting full of color and contrast and detail that one could stare at for hours and hours, seeing nuance after nuance and depth under depth beneath depth. I want to continue reading the sermons, absorbing as much as I can while also learning from her writing techniques. I am amazed and very impressed. Can I pick a role model or what? Haha

My wish for everyone who has suffered through reading this long blog, haha, is that you have a fantastic and relaxing weekend.

Until we meet again!