Today I was so depressed I could hardly breathe. Figuratively. I could barely function...
...OFF AND ON. I would start to feel great and think, "Man, I've licked this thing!" Then, moments later, it was like a wrecking ball smashed into my head and I was miserable.
One moment I would feel hope, the next moment I would feel utterly flat.
I don't know what set off this recent emotional onslaught; usually I'm a steady "okay."
I did start to get some clarity, here and there, and I was writing down ideas on how to make my life both simpler and also more effective. Then the wrecking ball would swing in and I was useless.
I even cried toward the end of the day at work.
I drove home and called Lena. We talked awhile, I opened up, and she was wonderful. I could not ask for a more supportive, compassionate and understanding partner.
Then I came inside and slept for almost 2 hours.
Abd I felt... TENTATIVELY... a little bit better.
I stayed home tonight instead of going to Lena's likely we'd originally planned.
And so I say I'm floating. No longer drowning but, rather, lying wet in a rescue life raft.
Being very still... and very quiet.
This whole experience has really shaken me. But I'm learning, and moving forward VERY slowly.
I need to go to sleep. Would be very grateful for prayers. Thank you!
