Okay she got up. Good. Okay.
It's been a day. I slept til 1:00. P.M., yes, that 1:00.
I was over at Julia and Kathy's very late last night, doing laundry and watching Comedy Central's Friday Night Stand-Up. Well, with Julia... Kathy had to go to work. They both mean so much to me. They are SO KIND... and open to having me around, and they're nice to Luna... they have helped me over and over and over in numerous ways, they are generous and loving and... they ACCEPT me.
It feels so good to be accepted.
I feel kind of suspended in mid-air lately. I'm kind of lonely, but protective of my aloneness and my independance. And a little insecure, truth be told. I'm defensive... don't want to open up to anyone and risk being hurt. I'm embarrassed of where I live, excuse excuse excuse, I could come up with excuses all day.
But I think the wise thing to do in uncertainty is... to do NOTHING. LOL Rather than risk doing something wrong... I shall just maintain.
As long as I keep busy, I'm okay. Last week, I got to church late so I wasn't able to be part of the praise team OR serve as a prayer partner at the end of service. And I cried through the service. It was awful. Tomorrow, I will try hard to be on time so I can have things to DO, to keep myself busy, so my mind doesn't cry.
