I am in CC's on Airline/Bluebonnet. Last time I was here, I was with Carrie and so, so happy. So maybe I'm hoping to regain some of that... maybe I'm just trying to relax a little.
I just finished copying the photo-conglomeration inserts I have made for this year's Christmas cards and that is exciting!
I am anxious and troubled because, on Dec. 9, and maybe... Part of me wants what is coming... but more of me than anything would miss her terribly and is dreading what may come along with all of that. Well... I need to stop speculating and getting myself worked up about things I don't even know yet. But I don't want part of me to be gone. Because she truly is part of me.
I will see her tomorrow. I guess I'll bring Liefje too and stay all weekend. My sweet. I love her. This relationship is in a dimension I have not previously entered. The depth, the genuineness... the length, even. We had a rough time over the summer but that needed to happen to get us back on track. I never want to lose her.
I love my friends at church but hate their politics. I hate that politics is such a big issue at church. I guess if I AGREED with the main line of thought there... it would not be a big deal. But I vehemently disagree with most of the mainline political views at MCC and I have to hear about those things all the time. There's constant tension in me, and frustration.
Someone is singing "Let it Snow" over the stereo system here. So cheerful. I love the Christas season. This year more than before. Not sure what's different.
I need to get my money in order to get my own place again. There are so many things I want to do...but if I do them, I will never get my own place. I need to focus on that.
Thank You, God, for loving me and taking care of me. I am grateful for You.
