Here Comes 2018

Hello.  I have walked from my house to Garden District Coffee.  About a 30 minute walk but it felt good.  Lena was concerned because it's colder than usual outside but honestly I took my coat off not even halfway here.  I'm a quick walker... therefore, warmth happens... and I was almost sweaty by the time I got here.  Haha

See, here I am...

So.  For the new year, I have a few specific goals:

1.  Keep reading the Bible consistently like I have been.

2.  Pay down my credit cards.  I'm not in a hole or anything; I just want to lower what I owe.  I have specific goals but they are personal.  You're welcome.  LOL

3.  WHEN I want to buy something (bigger than gas and groceries)... I want to make myself WAIT 24 hours before I do so.

4.  I want to save money like crazy.  Like, put it in my savings account and do not touch it.

I think those are good goals.  Get my life under control in more ways.  Also to keep losing weight.  I met my 15 pounds goal a few weeks ago and relaxed my restrictions for the holidays.  Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself and see what damage was done (hopefully not too much) and set a new goal from there, probably around 15 more pounds.  I have an idea what I'd like to weigh.  It's a weight I held years ago and of course thought I was fat... but, hindsight... heh... My goal now is to be the fat I was in around 2003.  hahaha

Seriously though... I gained a LOT of weight for awhile.  All in all, I weigh about 30 pound less now than I did at the height of it all.

Gotta commit to CrossFit again, too.  It is a financial investment, but I have to consider it worthwhile.  Number one, I know me, and I know I am FAR less likely to work out consistently if I try to do it alone.  Number two, sure, there are cheaper gym memberships, but I feel a PART of Geaux CrossFit; it's friends, it's a little family, it's encouragement and consistency.  I could pay a cheap monthly rate at Planet Fitness but that brings us right back to point number one; I would be going it on my own and, with no program to follow or group to work out with, I don't have much confidence that I would be consistent.  Just trying to be real.

I love Geaux CrossFit.  I love the coaches: Johnny and Amber and Patrick and El and that other guy... (sorry, other guy... I forget your name)... I love my friends Zevi and Ros and Dani  and Nick and Mandy and Mathilda and John and Jennifer... and all the people whose faces I know but whose names I can't remember... and the two Claires... I love that I am one of the three Nicoles... I love being coached, taught, corrected and encouraged.  So for all that, it's worth the money.  Hands down.

So, there you have it.  I think I'm going to walk home now.  I'm pretty tired from all the cold medicine I've been taking.  Actually I'm out.  Maybe go by a store first and get some more cold medicine.  I am quite partial to any generic green capsules whose effects mimic those of NyQuil.  I hate a runny nose and I love sleeping, so those needs and desires are both met by said medication.

Happy New Year, everybody.  I'm going to watch Dallas New Years on TV tonight and remember how I loved living there, and how I now long to live in Denver.  (Denver is part of the drive behind my goal of saving gobs of money.)

Auld Lang Syne, y'all!  Be good and use Uber if you go out!!  2017 has been a good one.

xo,
Nicole

I Hold These Truths to Make Sense to at Least Myself...

I am swimming in a warm, welcoming pool of curiosity.  A strong sense is currently inhabiting my soul, a sense that there is more out there; more to be learned - and deeper depths to be reached than I have before considered.



I believe in Jehovah; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  Three separate yet ONE.  Currently, though, I am more and more interested in knowing GOD without the dangling baggage of RELIGION.

Kind of like with politics; I don't completely agree with the platform of any major party, so I name myself an Independent.  Along the same line of thought, I don't completely adhere to the beliefs and practices of any standard church or denomination.  I want to know GOD.

This evening I have done a little reading on the Unitarian Universalist church... an organization which, in the past, I have scoffed at and never considered legitimate.  I'm not making any declarations or commitments here; just saying, I would like to learn about this group and possibly visit one of their gatherings just to see how it makes me feel.



Part of me would like to piece together a compilation of ONLY the words that came out of the mouth of Jesus Christ while He lived on earth in a human body.  Once, a man I really respected (and still do respect) said to me that he loved the Bible but often disagreed with some things the Apostle Paul had said in his writings.  At the time, I was inwardly mortified!  You didn't just come out and say you DISAGREED with this or that part of the Bible!  Time has passed, though, and I am finding myself more open to his point of view.

The flood of 2016 stole from me one of my favorite books; The Gospel of Inclusion by Bishop Carlton Pearson.  Recently, I have purchased another copy and have started over at the beginning, working my way through this thought- and question-provoking work.  Reading this book makes me hungry to learn more and curious to uncover what parts of knowing GOD I might have previously blocked out under my desire to do things right in the eyes of church leaders.  Wow.  I feel like I've been crouched next to a fence, squinting to see through one little peep-hole... when I can just STAND UP and look OVER the fence... to see... who knows what??  I find that thought breathtaking.



Because God is not limited to the Bible.  God is not limited to any denomination or religion or any institution created by humans.  This evening, I have been reading Bishop Carlton's thoughts on the concept of GOD WITHOUT RELIGION.  And I am truly intrigued.

I need to go to sleep soon... just wanted to share a few thoughts.  I hope you all had a great time celebrating Christmas.  My nephews were given guns that shoot out little foam balls about the size of Cheetos Balls so my sister's house transitioned into a battlefield of fun and hilarity and many there were involved in combat at some point in the afternoon and evening of Christmas Day.  I love my family and am hugely grateful for them.

Work tomorrow; gotta go earn the pet food.  hehe  Night, all!!

It is MORNING

I woke up earlier from one of the sickest, most terrifying... "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad..."  dreams I have had in recent history.  My stomach still feels a little... burned... and knotted up.

At first, I was going to blog the dream but I thought better of that; the things in that dream are not things I want to share with the world wide web.

A few more ideas came and went, then I decided to just put it aside, at least for now, and read the Bible, as is my morning practice.

Currently, my reading is in the Book of Psalms, and I decided to read until I found an answer or an antidote to the creepy way I was/am still... feeling.

I read with fervor, if one can read with fervor... anyway, it took me a chapter or two but I finally found my answer.  The verse is familiar to me and I knew when I saw it that its words were, especially today, from God to me.

Psalm 30:5 - "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."

And, my friends, it is MORNING.  The night is over, and things played out in my dreams at night need not be dragged into the day.  Now it is morning, a new beginning, a fresh start.

And CHRISTMAS morning at that!  Merry Christmas!

I recently listened to an audio book entitled, "The Shack."  Words cannot adequately describe how profoundly the content of this book has affected me.  My feeling of closeness to God  has multiplied, for starters.  This book is also a movie and I implore anyone who likes to feel better... to consume this book in whatever medium most appeals to you.

I'm going to go now and enjoy this crisp, cold Christmas morning.

I will write more soon, about good things and about my goals for the coming new year.

Love to you all.

Nicole

Oh, Life

I don't know what's up with me lately.  I mean, I have a few ideas... I think what I'm trying to say is, I don't LIKE what's up with me lately.

Depression.  Anxiety.  And all the other words that fall under those two categories.

I feel like I have to scramble to get up the hill, then perpetually continue to scramble or else I start to slide back down.

That's about it for now.

I tell you, though, I just got through reading Job.  The ending is awesome.  Now I have started going through Psalms for the second time in my life.  I wish I could absorb Psalms into my system because, just in the first four chapters I've read this evening, there is so much truth and richness.

See... I still know where Hope lies.  I enjoy reading the Bible.  I just don't enjoy much else lately.  Haha

Laterz