Go Away, Dr. Seuss

Can I tell you, I had a BREAK DOWN last night? Went through my day fine though a little edgy... as I explained it to a friend, I felt like I'd been through something horrible and traumatic... I felt tired and weak and small, like you do when you're just getting over rough illness. Cold Case has always been one of my favorite shows. Last night, they showed an episode about the death of a 9-year-old boy. Tore me up inside. I was so sad about the show, then I started crying about Monday night and how traumatized I felt after my encounter with that woman!! I realized I felt like a child who is being abused and shamed into silence. "Don't tell her; she'll hate you; she'll never forgive you..." etc etc. It reminded me sharply of that horrid abusive relationship in my past. All the same scared, ashamed feelings came flooding back and I couldn't handle it. My good friend Antoinette came to mind. I ended up calling her. She let me get it all out, between shaky tears and restrained sobs. We talked a little while, and she prayed for me. Talk about an A+ #1 friend. After we hung up, I prayed some more and, after a winding search through the Bible for things that might apply to my situation, I ended up in Isaiah... 33? About God's protection from attack. Reading that passage was like being wrapped up in a big hug. All that safety and security I talked about in my last post, that I had felt from my ex? All of that, and more. Gotta get going... so much more I could say but I did want to note that I am doing a lot better. I might elaborate when I have more time.